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an apology

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an apology

Post by Bluedizboy on Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:30 am

i know this forum is super old and no one posts except for once every few months(from the looks of it) but i feel the need to post this now  pale 

i checked to see if anyone had posted in last's thread, and decided to go through the other subforums to take a walk down memory lane. and what i found disgusted me. i expected fond memories, and instead i got the urge to vomit.
no, not the "lol we were such little dumb kids" crap. not even by anyone else, but myself. i was completely awful.

now, i've changed a lot, and i always knew i was pretty bad when i was on here, but what i found(especially the chatlogs) showed me how much of a horrible person i am. i seriously can't believe what i saw.
shouting at people unprovoked, calling people idiot or moron for no reason, snapping at my friends when they had done nothing wrong, being a complete fuckin jerk on blue only to turn around and be nice on diz.

i was sexist(there's even some shitty crap in my own profile!), homophobic, even a little bit racist, i was utterly shitty. i was so awful - and it's even worse that even back then i considered "blue" more of myself than diz was.

i was two-faced, as mentioned before i would insult people as blue only to turn around and be cute on diz. i separated myself into two mindsets to use for them. i wouldnt be surprised if the people that knew that i was behind both wondered if they even really knew me.

i remember fights, people asking for me to be removed as an admin on blue and the fallout with light. i don't remember details, but now i understand. i was too young and completely fuckin stupid to realize how awful i was being.

i was completely horrible, and there is no excuse for any of the things i said or did.

and i am terribly sorry. no, words cant even express how horrified and regretful i am right now. i deserve no one's forgiveness.

blue doesn't have admin privileges anymore, but i think diz still does. if she does, i'll remove the cursing censor on it if ya'lld like.

again, i am very sorry, there was no excuse for how i treated people i had the audacity to call my friends - especially last.
last, i'm so fuckin sorry. i said some terribly shitty things to you and i regret it everyday.

im so sorry.
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Bluedizboy
Jr. Member

Male Number of posts : 897
Age : 23
Location : Townsville
Job/hobbies : Artist
Humor : I loves me a good burger! Does anyone know what goes good with burgers?
Mood : Disturbing
Spouse : Dizzy [Crud, she is HOT!]
Children : Diza [Amazing the angel is my offspring, isn't it?]
Favorite Color : Dark blue mostly, but I like any dark color
Favorite Band/Singer : Demon Hunter & Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
Best Friends : Besides my girlfriend/wife/whatever and my sister and brother, and my mom, and my dad... well... let's face it. The whole frickin' Dislonia family are my best friends.
Favorite Song: : All-Time: Dry the River by Maylene
Current: Turn Your Back and Run - Demon Hunter
Notepad : Blue's Advice:
Never judge a book by its cover. Judge it on how fast the pages shred.

Never tell a pregnant woman she's ugly. She'll injure you. Never tell her she's beautiful, either, she'll kill you.

If you have a morbid fear of drunkeness, stay away from me.

I figured out why they call us "Metalheads". Because we constantly headbang and haven't cracked our skulls yet.
Registration date : 2008-10-16

http://www.jesusfreakhideout.com

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Re: an apology

Post by Sebastian on Thu Mar 20, 2014 11:12 pm

Oh, come on, give yourself some slack !!! I think you deserve it! You were a great friend back then, we all have our moments, heck I know i've done things im not proud of! If anything happened back then, what HOW MANY YEARS AGO??, it's water under the bridge now! I'm sure none of us are holding grudges or resenting you! We all love you! We were always a pretty big family back then, this forum definitely helped us grow as a whole, I know it helped me! So please! Look back at these memories with fondness like I do because all i can remember are the good times and there is no reason to focus on negativity or mistakes except to learn, no reason to feel bad about the past <3 Glad to hear from you, and how you've discovered who you really are!

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Sebastian
Member

Male Number of posts : 1294
Age : 21
Location : sitting on Islananana's head 8D
Mood : Ploopy
Spouse : Noone Atm
Children : Rocket and Fire no?
Favorite Color : TOTALLY PURPPLE!!
Favorite Band/Singer : I like alotta bands
Best Friends : Tie, Pippa, Light, Shawnte, Islana, Cosmic, Blue, Dizzy, Awe, Bit, Archer.
Favorite Song: : Party Rock Anthem
Notepad : HEY GUYS.


bleh...
Registration date : 2008-10-17

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